The Queen of Putting it Off.

Procrastination. Such a fancy word for such a simple concept. I am the worst procrastinator ever (or would it be “best procrastinator ever” since I really excel at the skill?). I operate under the idea that I do best under pressure. Whether this is actually true or just an excuse I have created to make me feel better about myself is yet to be determined.

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In college, I lived with one of my dearest friends, Katie. She was the opposite of me in every way. Aside from the fact she was (and still is) a tall, blonde goddess who woke up at the crack of dawn and went to bed while I was waking from my nap each evening, she would tackle assignments and projects days, sometimes weeks, before they were due. Disclaimer: anyone who knows Katie knows she won’t mind me calling her out as this is a widely known and respected trait of hers.

 I used to be amazed that she had the initiative to plan ahead like that. Anytime I attempt to do anything that isn’t due the next morning, I find every excuse imaginable to get off-topic. Suddenly, our bedroom desperately needs to be cleaned, dusted, vacuumed and disinfected. Laundry cannot wait one more day. Time to clean carpets and be excited about it! A TV show or movie that I normally would not give two seconds of my attention to suddenly sucks me in, and God forbid, I miss a second of which toddler wins the beloved tiara!

This obnoxious trait followed me into graduate school where I was, not surprisingly the last one of my cohort to complete their thesis. He will never say it, but it drives my husband insane that he has to remind me 153 times to do something before the deadline. I don’t really need valid tabs on my license plates, do I? A kind policeman wouldn’t possibly pull me over for having expired tabs, would they? I am smarter than this. Ugh, I just piss myself off.

 What I find strange about this entire thing is I don’t have the least bit of patience for other people who are like me! I will shout it from the rooftops that I am what I am, but God help the poor soul who is on a project with me and waits until midnight to get me their portion. I will harass them and barrage them with constant emails until I get what I need on a timeframe I deem as appropriate.

 So today, God help me. I am making an oath to myself. And I may hate you for it, but I expect my friends and family to nag me about it if they see me slacking. I need to stop thinking that putting things off is ok. It’s annoying and makes for a bigger headache down the road when I am frantically running around like an idiot trying to get a bill paid in time or get my work physical done by the deadline when I had EIGHT MONTHS to do it. I am almost 30 years old, for God’s sake. If I ever produce offspring, this is a trait of mine I hope they do not possess.

So, my dear friends and readers, what are tips and tricks you use to stay on top of life? Practical tips, please. I’m not trying to climb Mount Everest, just trying to get within it’s shadow.

Until next time…