Well, the time has come. In roughly, 1.25 days, I will now be officially 30. So long 20s; thank you for being so kind to me!
In preparation for the big 3-0, I began working through the five Kubler-Ross stages of grief months ago. At first I was in serious denial that I was going to be 30. Not because I associate turning 30 as a bad thing but because I feel like I JUST graduated from high school. I then struggled with anger every time I would see a freshly 21 years old gaggle of girls. For I knew the next day, after a handful of drinks, I would want to die while they would be celebrating Sunday Funday with a vengeance I once had. I feel like the bargaining and depression came hand in hand as I laid in bed screaming to the heavens that I would donate our entire savings for one more year in my 20s! (Ok, that might be a bit of an exaggeration…maybe just half our savings…). But then, I accepted it. I am truly to the point now where I just want to get it over with and move on. I want to tear it off fast like a Band-Aid.
But all that being said, I would like to think that I have a good head on my shoulders and have learned a thing or two about this wild ride. So here a few grains of wisdom I wanted to share:
1. Good relationships do not keep score.
This applies to all of life’s relationships. You do things for someone because they are important to you and you want to. You don’t do something for someone because you owe them or feel in debt to them. And conversely, you should not be the person who feels like you are owed. Be selfless. Be giving. Be a good friend, sister, daughter without expectation.
2. It’s never too late.
This. Whether it be to start over, to make things right, to apologize, etc. You are not dead. You are, however, living on this Earth for a finite amount of time. So when you come to the realization that you need to change, to man up, to go out of your comfort zone, to let go of the past, etc., you need to do these things. It may not be easy, but it is worth it. Trust me, it is worth it.
3. You may never have your shit figured out. And that’s ok.
Where in the metaphorical Book of Life does it say you have to have accomplished X by the age of Z? We are all doing our best. We are all struggling to find peace and happiness. This looks different to everyone and some people’s paths might be a bit rockier and longer than others. But their journey is still valid. It’s still important. And there is nothing that says they need to complete that journey by the time they are 20 years old…or 30…or 50.
4. Hard times will be helpful to you someday.
So true, but so hard to realize at the time. We’ve all been there-feeling alone, devastated, your plans of what you thought would be are no longer. You’re pissed. And it’s so hard to think about anything other than the here-and-now. The future seems daunting. And at the time, you want to slap anyone who tells you “this too shall pass.” But they are right. It will pass. And you will come out of it, on the other side, stronger, more confident, knowing more about yourself than you did before. And one day, you will look back at those times and be thankful for them. And you will feel proud of yourself for where you are today.
5. You will never make everyone happy.
Plain and simple. I learned this when Lance and I were planning our wedding. Everybody, and I mean everybody, had an opinion on something for our day. We had to agree and decide, very early on, that we were not going to make everyone happy and that was fine. It may sound selfish, but for our sanity, we had to.
Let your freak flag fly, people! At the end of the day, you need to do what you need to do to be happy. When your soul is at peace, you don’t have the need to care what others think.
6. Life is far too short to spend it with people who are not worth your time.
I hope every single one of you reading this is surrounded by a support system that will always make your life infinitely better. If there is someone in your life that does not make you a better person, cut ties. Simple as that. I know it is so much easier said than done, but it is exhausting to be with people who make your soul exhausted. And the messed up part is that these sad people take up exponentially more of your time and energy and focus and love than those who truly deserve it. So find the people who deserve it and celebrate them. Love them. Thank them.
7. Dogs really do make everything better.
Until next time…