An Ode to My Annoying Teenage Self

When I was a senior in high school, we were instructed to write a letter to ourselves that we would later receive at our 10 year reunion. 10 years have come and gone and before I knew it, my letter was back in my hands. I was unrealistically excited, hoping that my 18 year old self was beyond her years in wisdom and plans for me. I found myself desperately clinging to the hope that I wasn’t, in fact, your typical senior in high school. For, I couldn’t possibly have been a shallow, sheltered, upper-middle class, white, privileged kid who was preparing for college that would be fully paid for by her father. No, I knew better..didn’t I?

Not surprisingly, as some of you may imagine, my letter was filled with obnoxious 18 year old angst and the belief that the “problems” I was facing were mild world disasters. I actually used a portion of this (what should have been important) letter complaining about the fact that I spent $7.50 going to “The Ring 2”. Yes, people. This was important to me. Seriously, how annoying was I? The worst. I just want to reach back in time and smack myself in the jugular.

embarrased

However, I did find it somewhat humorous that I thought I would own a house, but not be married, at age 28. How I thought I could ever have afforded a house on my own is beyond me, but what did I know?! The realist 29 year that I am now, realizes that I would be living in straight-up squalor. I was pleased to be informed that I didn’t think I would have any children yet, if ever, because let’s be honest, kids still scare me as much as they did when I was 18. But that’s for another day…

Now, with 30 quickly approaching, I find myself somewhat horrified and embarrassed at my previous beliefs and opinions. I remember being younger and thinking that 30 was when your ovaries shriveled up like raisins and that you were more likely to get struck by lightening than actually find a partner who was worth your time and attention. But I now realize how ridiculous and annoying I was.

For the first time in my life, I am approaching a decade that isn’t filled with decisions of where to go to college and what to major in. (Which, is super important…ya know, because after 6 years of undergrad and graduate school I am doing NOTHING that I actually went to school for.) I don’t have to worry about drama with roommates (not counting my husband), or worrying if I am going to overdraft out of my checking account. I don’t need to worry about what other body part I can get tested or probed to be able to pay my rent. (PRACS, thank you for being around when I was a broke college student…even if a patch study left one of my arms with a permanent mark. That $350.00 was totally worth it.)

Your 20’s are fun and mostly care-free. I look back on college, and all the new freedom that comes with it, with such a fondness that I know I will never experience again. And I’ll admit that makes me a little sad. BUT, I also look forward to all that is ahead of me. So many places to travel. So many babies and weddings and huge life moments that I get to be a part of, with the most important people in my life. Because, that’s the beauty of almost being 30: the people you surround yourself with, are the ones you have chosen. The ones who made it out of high school with you alive. The ones who stuck by you and were there for you through college, no matter how far. The ones who have literally seen you at your worst and at your absolute best. The ones who have spent countless drunken nights with you, making memories you won’t ever even remember. Those are ones that make me ready, and excited, for 30.

best friends

I hope you all are lucky enough to have your chosen few.

Until next time..

 

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