Disturbing Stats I Feel I Should Share…

In honor of Glamour magazine turning the big 18 and officially entering adulthood, they asked 1,131 men (why it couldn’t have been 1,130 totally bothers me, but I can get past it….I think….like that one extra guy made a difference. Ugh. Whatever.) all the dirty questions you’ve always been afraid to ask. Or so they say. In all reality, what they asked was so random and not at all the questions I’ve always wanted to ask. I won’t explicitly say what I’ve always wanted to know because I don’t want this blog to be XXX rated, but come on, Glamour! You can now vote and be in the military. Be brave.

ANYWHO…some of the statistics that I honest-to-God circled as I was reading, are the following. Enjoy.

42% of men say they have had sex on their lunch break from work. Clearly, these men do not work at my place of employment where we get a whole 30 minutes. Well, maybe some do. Quite frankly, I’d be impressed; but they, on the other hand, probably shouldn’t brag about it. I hardly have time to haul my ass down to the cafeteria, lament over my food options for roughly seven minutes, haul my ass back upstairs, and cruise Facebook; all while trying to eat in 30 minutes. It takes talent, people.

13% of men say they have a name for their penis. Maybe it’s just me, but this is a rather disturbing phenomena. Maybe, if the name was truly wonderful, like Shuttlecock, I’d understand, but they’re always so lame. True story: One of my dear friends once dated a guy whose man parts they called “Little Bo Beep”. Awesome, in the sense that I never had to look at it, and that I hated his guts, but definitely not awesome for him. Needless to say, he is no longer in the picture. Thank God.

SNL Grossed Out Gif photo GrossedSNL_zps78c71cbb.gif

41% of men think it would be weird if a woman named her vagina. Um yeah, because it would. This should have been 100%. HOWEVER, I am willing to change my opinion on this, if even one person, can give me  a hilarious, fantastically gross nickname. Use the ‘Comments’ section below. I’m serious.

13% of men wish they could experience pregnancy and childbirth. Bullshit. All lies.

Until next time…