Dear Amanda

Today was a foul day. A co-worker got canned, who let’s face it, I didn’t care for much anyway, but now have her workload to deal with. Lovely. Perhaps it is because of this extremely unpleasant mood I am presently in that I picked the current topic for today’s post.

For those of you who have read REAL SIMPLE magazine, I apologize. So much money and time wasted…it’s a shame. For starters, the magazine is geared towards middle-aged upper class women who have an abundance of time and money on their hands to fix their “problems”. Translation: Somebody like myself should not even get within a 10 foot radius of said magazine. The only reason I have had the displeasure of coming across this publication is because my twin sister got a free subscription. True story. Ok, enough bashing (but it feels so good!). Moving on…

ANYWAY, I was reading an article titled, “How do I deal with coworkers who don’t respect my boundaries?” in the Modern Manners section. The first part of my rant will deal with possible situations one might encounter in their daily work day and how to appropriately handle it.

Potential situation #1: Over time, coworkers  become comfortable with you and begin to express opinions about your personal life. So what do you do if someone gives you unsolicited advice? Answer: Put your finger to your lips and say, “Shhhh. I don’t want the boss to think that we spend all day gossiping instead of working.” O God, gag me. Don’t all bosses know their employees spend all day gossiping and not working? Duh. Have you ever watched any TV show or movie? Everybody knows that nobody REALLY works but money just magically appears. Ok, but that wasn’t even my point for this situation. If someone is giving you advice that you didn’t ask for, or more importantly, find disrespectful, tell them. There, now that wasn’t so hard, was it? If that doesn’t work, I personally have found putting my ear buds in and turning around does the trick wonderfully.

Potential situation #2: Some colleagues tend to overshare. Someone starts to talk about their sex life with you. Answer: Touch her arm gently and say, “You should be discreet about what you talk about in the office. This is private information, and I’m sure you wouldn’t want someone else to overhear.” Ok, for starters, I work with a bunch of middle-aged women who’s biggest problems are remembering to take their BEAN-O before lunch, so let’s be honest, I do not care to hear about their stories. And let’s face it, we all know that people over 40 don’t ever have sex. Right? Right, guys?!? Ew. Anyway, let’s get real. If I hear homegirl in the next cubical chatting about what homeboy and her did last night, you can bet I’m gonna pull out those ear buds and listen. No question about it. Who doesn’t want to hear this stuff?! Hey, in my opinion what I can hear over those cubicle walls might as well be spoken directly to me. Totally rational.

“Say whaaaaaaat?”

Anyway, moving on from the workplace. The column then went on to answer other “everyday” questions. Read this little kicker: “Recently my friend found a great babysitter. I asked if she would share the sitter’s information with me. To my surprise, she refused, saying I should find my own child care. I feel offended. Am I overreacting?” Now let’s just skip what the columnist responds with and go to the good choice: my response. NO, you are not overreacting! Your friend is being a gigantic biz and needs to be kicked in the face. If that doesn’t make her give up the contact information, look on Craigslist…I’m sure you could find a totally reliable and safe option on there. And no, you don’t need to worry about meeting them beforehand. So what if “Maggie” the 16 year old you hired shows up at your door as Fred, a 58 year old balding man? No big.

Totally harmless.

Until next time…


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