I am woman, hear me roar!…But you’re gonna pay that bill, right?

First of all, yes, I am indeed alive. I apologize to those few individuals out there who have unsuccessfully been harassing me to write a new post for weeks now. I know that your lives have been utterly meaningless while you have been ever-so-patiently waiting for my return. I have no excuses. I suck at life. Moving on…

A while back I was reading an article in Marie Claire about “the rich-guy mystique”. Now, I adore my fiance, but God, and even Lance himself, knows I’m not with him because of his wealth…or lack thereof. True, he makes good money, but he is also incredibly hardworking and, in truth, I find his work ethic and responsibility far more endearing than the money he makes. Swear to God, that’s the truth. So all you naysayers out there can just bite me. Ok, whoa…I got a wee bit carried away. The point I was attempting to make was that I am not now, nor have I ever, dated someone who is extremely wealthy. I, frankly, believe I would find it obnoxious to have someone flaunting their cash all over the place. A lot can be said for modesty, people.

Anyway, the author of this article (who does not sound like someone I would want to be friends with) goes on to talk about how she went on a date with a guy she didn’t have feelings for, nor did she find attractive. What intrigued her about him? His money. (Um, ew.) She writes that not only did she not have to worry about paying the bill, but she also didn’t feel guilty or feel the need to insist she pay for her half, and that this was a nice change of pace for her. Ok, can I digress for a moment here? First of all, what kind of losers was this chick dating before? Secondly, I realize that Lance usually always pays for our meals, etc (and I hope he knows how thankful and appreciate I am), but even when we started dating I never felt uncomfortable waiting for the bill after dinner. It wasn’t like I sat there strategically thinking, “Ok, how are we gonna do this? Be cool, Amanda, be cool. Do I slowly reach for the bill to give him the perception I’m paying, when in all reality I have no intention of paying, to prevent me from looking bad, but not move fast enough so that he can tear it from my grasp just in time? Do I let him pay so he feels manly? O God, I’m so confused. This was a bad idea. Why did I ever agree to go on this date. I need to leave. I just want to go home. Now.”

Ok, so that might be a bit of exaggeration but my point is: if you are on a date with someone you know you probably aren’t going to mesh with, and are preoccupied with these thoughts then I’m gonna go out on a limb and say the conversation and the connection ain’t too great to begin with. Next suitor please!

Holy cow, back to the subject of this post. She then goes on to write about how she is a feminist and values her career but there is still a part of her that wants to be taken care of-in the very least to have dinner paid for. Oh, the inner turmoil she must be experiencing! How can someone possibly have both? How she must lay awake at night tossing and turning over this conundrum! How can we be worried about the unrest in Syria and Israel when there are much more important problems such as this happening?! Can someone say FIRST-WORLD PROBLEMS?!? Ugh, I’m disgusted.

Anyway, I turned to my most valuable and informed feminist source to ask her firsthand opinion on the topic: my equal-rights-for-all-fight-til-the-death twin sister, Andrea. Her words? Simply put: “Just because you, as a woman, believe in equality doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate a gentlemen being chivalrous.” BOOM. I couldn’t agree more. I’m pretty sure this lady is making Mt. Kilimanjaro out of a molehill and is, in the process, looking like the antithesis of a feminist. Richie Rich deserves better than her anyway.